Mastering Executive Presence and Communication

Executive presence and effective communication are not innate traits, but skills that can be learned and honed over time. Unlike charisma, which is a natural charm some people possess, presence and communication are cultivated abilities. Even individuals with natural charisma can amplify their influence through strong presence and communication. Regardless of whether you are an introvert or extrovert, soft-spoken or boisterous, quick-witted or contemplative, you can develop a commanding executive presence and communicate effectively.

Everyone has a unique learning style. This course is designed for those who might not be naturally outspoken and may need more time to articulate their thoughts. If you are diligent, hardworking, and eager to practice, this course will guide you in developing these crucial skills.

Practice Beyond the Course

Learning extends beyond the confines of this course. To truly master executive presence and communication, it is essential to practice regularly in your daily life. During the two-week course, dedicate at least 5 hours a week to practice the concepts and exercises provided. Take note of what works and what doesn’t, and adjust your approach accordingly.

Practical Application in Daily Life

You don’t have to limit your practice to professional settings. You can enhance your presence and communication skills in various contexts—whether it’s interacting with your children, participating in a sports group, conversing with friends, or communicating with your spouse. Schedule dedicated time in your calendar for these practice sessions.

Mastering the Four Components of Executive Presence

Executive presence is comprised of four key components, each playing a crucial role in how you are perceived as a leader. Here’s a breakdown of these components and practical tips to enhance each aspect.

1. How You Present Yourself (Visual Snapshot)

Your appearance is your visual snapshot. While you dress well, you sometimes appear nervous. Confidence in your appearance can significantly impact first impressions. Here are a few tips:

• Dress Appropriately: Always choose attire that suits the occasion and aligns with your professional image.
• Practice Calmness: Engage in mindfulness or breathing exercises to reduce visible nervousness.

2. How You Hold Yourself (Dynamic Visual)

Your physical presence speaks volumes. While in person, you tend to shrink rather than command attention. Enhancing your dynamic visual can help:

• Posture: Maintain an upright posture to project confidence.
• Gestures: Use open and controlled gestures to reinforce your points and show engagement.

3. How You Express Yourself (Verbal)

Your verbal communication is key. Although your writing is excellent, your voice sometimes breaks or sounds uncertain when speaking. Improve this by:

• Practice Speaking: Regularly practice public speaking or join a speaking club like Toastmasters.
• Voice Training: Work on voice modulation exercises to strengthen and stabilize your voice.

4. The Strength of Your Relationships (Interpersonal)

Strong relationships are the backbone of leadership. People enjoy working with you, but more effort in strategic relationship development can be beneficial:

• Network Strategically: Actively seek to build relationships with key stakeholders and mentors.
• Be Proactive: Instead of just being a kind co-worker, take initiative in relationship building, offering help, and seeking collaborative opportunities.

Putting It All Together

Improving executive presence is a holistic process. By working on how you present yourself, hold yourself, express yourself, and develop relationships, you can enhance your overall leadership presence. Here are a few final tips:

• Self-Assessment: Regularly assess and seek feedback on your executive presence.
• Continuous Learning: Engage in courses or workshops focused on leadership development.
• Consistent Practice: Apply these principles consistently in both professional and personal settings.

With dedication and practice, anyone can cultivate a strong executive presence that commands respect and fosters effective leadership. In many work situations, people see you for minutes or tens of minutes before they hear a word you say. As the adage goes, it's important to dress for the job you want. Professionalism remains critical for a strong first impression. Pay attention to what other executives wear at your company and in your industry generally. Humans are group and social creatures. We naturally mimic the way our leaders dress and behave. This promotes group harmony. If you aspire to be a “dominant” leader in the group, then you must look the part. An executive is generally cleanly dressed in properly fitting clothes (even if informal jeans and shirt). Whether you have a beard or are cleanly shaven, long or short hair, tattoos or piercings, it's important to appear well-groomed. Each element, whichever it is, has an intention behind it. They are not distracting and are intended to showcase some element of who you are and what you value. In the film Devil Wears Prada, the filmmakers make a point of Natalie Portman changing how she dresses to show her appreciation for fashion and its impact on society. She is, after all, working at a fashion magazine. The way you dress at work communicates respect, professionalism, and culture -- it is a powerful tool not to be ignored.

Using clothing to your advantage

Clothing can be used to counterbalance stereotypes or conceal weaknesses.

• If you tend to look young or have a difficult time being taken seriously, try opting for more formal, mature clothes. Avoid soft, cuddly materials. Some people even opt for shorter haircuts (or hair up).

• If you have trouble standing out, find something unique about you and how you dress. Bolder prints or colors (tastefully done) will help you stand out naturally. You can also opt to showcase some personality through jewelry or accessories that don't distract from your overall look.

• For minorities who naturally look different from the leadership, dressing in clothing that is implicitly associated with leaders at the company (e.g. what your VPs and C-level executives wear) can avoid calling too much attention to being “the other”

Common mistake: Be aware of the power differential between you and an executive. A current executive may be able to dress more differently (e.g. think Zuck in double gold chains), because of the power differential. While it's important to observe and take elements that connotate power and influence in your work environment, be careful not to go to extremes.

About 50% of presence is body language (That's a lot right??!). Whether you are conscious of it or not, your body language will help or harm your ability to command attention and influence others. You are always sending a message with how you hold yourself — make sure it’s the one you want. The first step is to bring this to the forefront and into your logical brain. Most of us have a default "state" we are in, and we're often unaware of the subtle messages we send others. Start with paying attention to how you’re holding yourself during meetings or walking around the office. I'm going to sound a little bit like a French Grandma (in the best way): How are you sitting? Is your back straight? What expressions are you making when you're not speaking? Are you looking at the person you're speaking to? Are you holding yourself in an attentive, open position (e.g. arms open, facing the other person)?

On Posture

Dancers and gymnasts often have the best posture because they are trained to be keenly aware of every detail of how their hands, feet, head, arms, and body are positioned. Here are some tips to keep in mind on posture:

• Standing with a group: Try to be “in” the flow of the conversation. Seek to actively make space for others.

  • Keep your shoulders back and relaxed.

  • Keep your feet about hip-width apart.

  • Balance your weight evenly on both feet.

  • Use your hands to convey relaxed (at your sides), or excited (gestures). Some people also opt to hold a drink or water bottle to have something to do with their hands and avoid fidgeting

• Sitting in meetings: Upright and alert. Don’t slouch or stare at your phone in your hands between your legs. Avoid leaning on your elbows or hands. This helps you remain engaged in the conversation and increases the chances you participate. Try these:

  • Back straight and shoulders back.

  • Buttocks touch the back of the chair.

  • Avoid crossing your legs

  • In a large group meeting, be somewhat close to the center of attention (e.g. other leaders in the room). It matters who you are perceived next to frequently. Don’t be the one who’s afraid to sit next to the CEO if the chair is empty.

• Walking around the office: When walking, hold your head and sight at eye level (not too high up — arrogance, or too far down — deferring).

  • Keep your head up, looking straight ahead.

  • Let your arms swing naturally at your sides.

  • Keep your back straight and your shoulders relaxed.

  • Try to practice walking with a book level on your head

• Entering a room: When you enter a new space, look around. Scan the room and meet the gazes of others as a greeting. It’s important not to hold gazes for too long (a sign of aggression) or look away too quickly (a sign of fear).

On Facial Expressions:

Facial expressions communicate how we are (truly) feeling. In the context of executive presence, we focus on ensuring we are not sending mixed messages with facial expressions. For example:

• Some people have furrowed brows when they are deep in thought, trying to understand a difficult concept, or (secretly) have a concern about an issue. These are very different emotions: make sure that others are not interpreting your "thinking face" as your "I'm concerned about this" face.

• A slight head hilt can be used to express interest and attentiveness, but too dramatic of a head hilt could imply disgust.

• A neutral face can be perceived as disinterest or boredom. Instead, opt for a slightly smiling and open expression when possible.

Gestures

Gestures are used to complement your verbal communication. They are very useful for emphasis and to command attention (just think of the stereotypes for Italians). There are cultural differences, but in Western business culture, we expect some gesturing to convey powerful emotions (e.g. excitement, anger). Interestingly, gestures absent from facial expressions and body language are often difficult to interpret.

• Fidgeting with your hands (or feet) can imply nervousness. If you have difficulty staying still (I do!), try using a fidgeting toy or walking around the room. You can also use it as a sign to engage in the conversation so you can use your hands. =)

• In some cultures, it's impolite to keep your hands below the table (from the days when you might get stabbed or poisoned). Try and keep your hands above the table when sitting.

• Avoid large gestures that get into the personal space of others. Be conscious of cultural differences when touching or hugging.

Executive Communication is clear and concise and exudes authority. Filler words and non-value-added phrases detract from the authority of the communication.

Avoid Filler words

Many of us regularly use filler words (e.g. umm, like, so, you know, things) to fill the gaps in our communication as we think about what to say next, try to cover up our nervousness, or simply take up more airtime. It's a habit, one that is important to break in work circumstances. To do so, slow down the speed of your speech and take breaths between sentences. Often, when we're nervous or excited, we talk faster. Or, we avoid pauses because we're afraid of being interrupted or somehow "run out" of air time. Alternatively, you may be a natural fast talker. Remember to slow down your speech so that your brain has a chance to catch up with your mouth. Take the time. Pause and breathe between your sentences. Rarely have I seen someone get dinged for speaking too slowly (and trust me, if you do, you will know by the facial expressions around the room).

Quick exercise: Slow down your speech until you are sure you are no longer using filler words. You'll likely notice that you have unnatural pauses or breaks (or nervous laughter). Practice at this slow pace until you are speaking smoothly without unintentional pauses.

Many of us are aware we use filler words. But we tend to be less aware of the qualifying statements we use to take up time, cover up for a mistake we haven't made, or make ourselves "seem" more friendly. Avoid:

1. Apologizing unnecessarily: “I’m sorry, I thought…” or “Sorry if this is off-topic…”

2. Self-deprecating comments: "I’m always so bad at…", "This may not be right, but…"

3. Qualifiers: "I thought that maybe…", "Perhaps we could…", "If you guys are up for it"

These phrases take away your authority and drastically decrease your influence. Skip to the content and try starting with:

• “Another approach could be…”

• “My initial thoughts are…”

• “Based on my understanding…”

Record yourself. The next day (a break is essential!), listen to decide for yourself if it's "too slow" and if so, practice speeding it up little by little. Communication is a two-way street. Unless you are giving commands or directions, or delivering a speech, it's important to place your words in the context of the ongoing conversation to make them as effective as possible. This requires attentive and active listening. We can all recall a scenario where someone simply interjects with a comment that "came from left field". It is ignored as the group fails to process the input and opts to move on. Or it disrupts the entire flow of the conversation and is perceived negatively by most. Effective verbal communication requires listening carefully and following the flow. So, get off your phone, close your chat apps, and sit up straight!

How to "Think on the Spot"

Some people struggle with listening, thinking, and then getting a word in when "the timing is right". By the time they've come up with a relevant comment or structured a thought, the moment has passed and the conversation has moved on. Or worse, they think of the comment AFTER the meeting is over (Yup, this has happened to me often). What to do now? What can you do to have input during the conversation? Here are some tried and true tactics:

• Advanced Planning: Come up with some comments or questions you'd like to express during the meeting beforehand. Write them down. This way, when the moment comes (or when the facilitator asks for question), you are ready to go.

• Use the Agenda: Most people do not pay attention to the agenda slide of a presentation. I do. I use them to figure out when we're talking about what and to help me think ahead to what topics I might have questions about (and whether if I missed a moment, I potentially have a chance to bring it up later).

• Don't wait for the thought to be fully formed or let fear take over: Some people wait until they have the entire comment thought through before they try to comment. Then they start worrying that they'll miss the moment, which makes it impossible to complete the thought quickly since fear has taken control. Try jumping in when you have the first idea of what you want to say, even if it's not fully thought out. Start with raising your hand or making a general comment (e.g. I have a consideration to add), and buy yourself a few more seconds to finish structuring the thought without worrying about "getting in on time".

• Look for a second chance: Often, you have multiple chances to raise a comment during the meeting. Don't give up just because you missed the first one (or two). Group conversations tend to be winding, and you'll get a chance to ask or comment again.

• Interrupt: Use this one with care, but don't avoid it. If it's an important consideration, bring it up, even if the timing is wrong. It is better to have discussed an important issue "out of turn" than to have missed it and have to go back or make a sub-optimal decision

Structuring "in the moment"

Structure in communication increases clarity, even if sometimes you end up deviating from the original structure. Whenever possible, add structure to your longer comments to give yourself and others something to follow. The simple "situation, complication, resolution" framework does well in many cases. Start with a quick summary of the situation. This highlights for your listeners why you're speaking up and gives a recap or your interpretation of it. (e.g. we were talking about x topic, John raised an interesting point just now with x). Then, make your comment -- the "complication". (e.g. I think x instead, or I learned x from a past project like this, or have we considered x). Finally, if you have one, give your proposal for the next steps (e.g. does this change how we might approach x? Does anyone else think similarly?). This allows the conversation to progress productively. You can also think about this simple framework as the 5 sentence structure many of us were caught in English class in High School. Start with a topic sentence, add some supporting sentences, and then conclude and transition!

When it comes to "in the moment" communication, simple is best!